02 April 2009

This and that and the other

1. The quiet rain sounds so nice tonight. Why does the standard April shower give me a good home feeling? I don't want to go to sleep—I'd rather stay awake and listen to it. Then again, there's nothing too much nicer than falling into dreams to the comforting sound of raindrops.

2. I ate one of the best Massaman curries of my entire life today. I turned our kitchen over to our friend Ethan, who was here making paper. Thanks to C Jane, I was already primed for curry this week, and it was total bliss. Ethan done good. Yum-oh-yum.

I learned something about Massaman curry, other than Ethan's great recipe. I read that this beloved Thai dish was originally Muslim. In fact, the word Massaman is a variation of Musulman, which was the older form of the word Muslim. Interesting, huh? Muslim curry. I'm going to work it into our regular meal rotation. (That sounds so organized. What a joke. I don't have a regular meal rotation. But I will start one now, with Muslim curry.)

3. I decided to make a housing helper for the birds who want to nest in my 'hood. I read online recently about how you can make a stash of building materials available for your feathered friends with such items as small strips of fabric scraps, bits of yarn and string, shredded paper, cotton batting, wool roving, twigs, leaves, grass clippings, feathers, snakeskins, cobwebs, broom straws, and . . . HAIR. Yes, I have found a cause that speaks to me. I can't tell you how it pleases me and helps me feel like I'm somehow cheating entropy to use my rapidly falling locks to plump up a nest or two and comfort a homely hatching of bird babies. I cleaned out my brush tonight and stuffed the bounty into a wide-mouthed mason jar for safekeeping till I get some other odds and ends collected and readied. In the morning, after my shower, it won't hurt my feelings nearly so much to have to retrieve so many stricken strands from the drain if they'll go to support a tiny family and not just end up in the garbage. I've got plenty of raw materials to share. Now I just need to figure out what my birdy building supply store will look like.

4. What would YOU put on the Queen's iPod?

5. One of these days I will plan a hair party. You will all be invited. Wigs will be mandatory. Mustaches, real or fake, will be welcome. Maybe we'll even have a sugaring station. Ow!

6. Last night I took some personal prayer time and got frustrated listening to myself struggle away from a well-worn groove: "Please help me __________." It's not that I don't need or want God's help; sometimes I just get sick of hearing myself ask and ask and ask. To be fair to myself, I do more than ask for help, but it does seem that all my inner roads lately lead to that petition. I begin to feel a little puny. Setting aside the paradox of being nothing and everything, I think I should be feeling a little more personal power than I've been expressing to God lately. Do you get what I mean? You might have been amused to hear me trying to ask for help with not asking for so much help. Gack!

I turned the words—please and help—over and over in my head as I went asleep, and just like what used to happen when I was in school, the sleeping on it helped me wake up this morning with a clearer comprehension. The first thing I noticed when I opened my eyes was that the words I'd been fretting over had changed their meaning in the night, slipped into something more comfortably assertive and full of will. Please and help had surrendered their attitude of vague desperation and had gained a little muscle. Please God, they said to me. Help your own situation. Help others. Help yourself to blessings; they're all around you, there for the taking. It didn't feel at all like an "And quit bugging me!" type of answer. On the contrary, there was no rebuke anywhere in it, just a lot of understanding, and what felt like an implied partnership. Being reminded of personal powers can be such a calming experience. I guess it could be scary too, if you looked at it in a different way, but I'd much rather enjoy taking responsibility.

I worked all day today, physical work, which I haven't felt well enough to do in a while. It felt so good. When I took more time to pray after this morning's epiphany, I could almost hear God laughing at me when the words "Please help" still came out, despite my best intentions. Of course he will help me. He's even pleased to, especially when I'm heavily involved in the process and don't leave my own work half-done.

7. My blog seems to get more and more random.

8. Is it a bad idea to eat Muslim curry for a midnight snack?


Azúcar said...

I've been in such an Alison Krauss mood lately.

I wish I lived in a house with more cold-hardy people because you better bet the windows would be wide open--especially while sleeping.

More curry. Yes. That's what I need.

Kalli Ko said...

Alison Krauss, ME TOO! That and some Nickel Creek, I think it's the weather.

You could not have described more adequately the state of my prayers lately.

I keep wondering when HF is going to tell me that he can only help me so much before I learn to help myself (with His assistance of course).

You are a beautiful soul.

anna said...

random? interesting. i would put some housemartins on the queens blog, and maybe an audio version of penrod and sam.

i want to come eat curry with you! i'll even break my not eating after 8 o'clock rule. i love to read your writing. it's like an adventure story that i'm always waiting for the next installment on ;)

allison krauss (you know, it always makes me think of sour kraut) has been in full swing over here too.

b. said...

That is one of my favorite songs she does...I know, I have a lot of favorites, but really...I love it!

I love you and your randomness too!

Angela said...

ditto on the random posts. item #3 made me giggle. whenever i find lost hair in the car, i throw it out the window and tell my husband that i am not littering, but giving my hair to the birds. chuckle. :)

Geo said...

Ladies, you all have such good taste! Come over for curry and Krauss, and let me adore you in person(s)! Angela, bring your hair for my birds . . . .

c-dub said...

Love Alison. And I might need Ethan's great recipe. Does he share?

Geo said...

I asked him for the recipe and all he could manage was a list of ingredients, no instructions. I can share that with you!