01 April 2009

Any day I have hair is a good day

It's April, my month. I'm happy to welcome it. It's completely committed to spring—none of this one tentative foot in front yard violets and one foot still in winter business. Even if April happens to bring us a chill here and there, we're going forward into budding and blossoming life, and not backward. I woke up this morning feeling green and interested in putting extra energy into positive thoughts and language. Last month I was sick a long time; this month I want to be very well.

Ironically, I spent the 1st day of my month stomach-sick. Rob too. I had a reprieve long enough to have a lunch date with Bec o' my heart and spend a couple nice hours just talking. That was a break I was grateful for. She's such good company, and the sweet potato fries at Guru's are worth getting sick again for.

(Yesterday, the first day Rob and I came down with gut rot in earnest, all either of us could get successfully down was dried mango, a gift from our friend Paul. If you get this bug, I suggest you have somebody pick up a bag for you from Costco. And drink lots of water.)

(Not many left. See?)

Bec o' and I were celebrating our birthdays today—that was the excuse we used to go out anyhow. Before she came by to get me, I spent the morning cooking up a batch of an ancient Mediterranean beauty treatment—Halawah—to give her along with a cheesy note. Has anybody else tried sugaring before? It's strange and wonderful, not too painful, and is even nice on toast. I tested the stuff out to see if it actually works, and—voila!—I am defuzzed! I'm going to test out an original recipe next time, with rose water. Interested?

(Sorry, no action shots. Maybe next time.)

My other project today was finishing up an announcement design for my cousin and his bride-to-be. One more reminder of the season—pink! green! Their wedding colors! The combo puts me in mind of tulips. Two lips, get it?

(Last night was Pick Yer Pantones night. That's always fun.)

Speaking of colorful, Bec o' and I were discussing an idea for one of our next meetups: a trip to the wig shop to try out some new hairdos. This is actually more than just fun for me, though it's sure to be that. This alopecia I've been wrangling since my surgery has turned aggressive in the past few months, and if it keeps going this way much longer, we're all of us in for a rude shock. Baldness! Ack! Devastation! O, vanity! It's funny, and I do so try to appreciate the humor in the situation, the way the current attack has played out; this go-round all the big patches which have ejected hair are hiding beneath the veil of my part. I seem to be crossing the line between alopecia areata and alopecia totalis in a sneaky way. The people who know I have this disorder say, encouragingly, "Oh, you can't tell at all! I don't see a thing wrong!" All the while, a quarter of my head and rising is attemtpting to embrace my inner Sinead. It's as if my scalp is trying to spare us all the sight for as long as possible. One day I'll wake up and it will be like my hair fell out overnight.

I'm working on coming to terms with what seems inevitable. Rob tries to downplay it, bless his loving intentions. I have one friend who seems to get it, and he is losing his hair himself this week to chemo. He tells me he is "pissed on women's behalf" because it's not so acceptable to go around sans hair as it is for men. He tells me, perhaps a little too optimistically, I'd look "fantastic and boldly beautiful without the bandana." But this is a man who has yet to see me in person.

Anyway. I asked Rob yesterday what color wig I should get if I ever go that route. He joked, "Chartreuse." Don't put it past me. If I have to lose my own, I may invest in technicolor. I'll take a flamboyant wardrobe of coiffures, thank you. Lots of people are stocking up on beans and wheat to see them through hard times. Me, I think I'll put away some henna tattoo kits and some synthetic bobs for leaner days.

For now, I've decided to adopt the philosophy that any day I have hair is a good day. If my hair finally goes, then I'll pick something else to appreciate.

Like tulips. Two lips, get it?

(I look positively shaggy in these! The grand illusion!)

Anybody want to donate some locks of love?


c-dub said...

You are so beautiful!

Here is a little April love from me, too. Along w/ reassurances that hair doth not beauty make. You've got real beauty inside and out and it's not at all locked into your locks.

That said, I also know this tumble of your tresses pains you, so I'm sending lots of love your way.

(p.s. I would love to get together sometime this month to celebrate w/ you, too. Say the word.)

Kalli Ko said...


yes to april and all it brings, one month closer to warm warm warm!

as for your lovely locks i am heartbroken. here is my offer, i will gladly, GLADLY grow out my own strands to contribute if a wig is indeed needed. i donated 15+ inches to locks of love in December. hair growing is my one true talent.

you let me know

and yes to what dalene said about the celebration

anna said...

those are pretty lovely lock pictures. my locks are almost long enough to donate, care to be blond for awhile? and jocob is almost at the 10 inch point, maybe you could be dark and curly...

and, i'd like to try sugaring. and eat it on toast.

Amy said...

I agree with Tony, and I HAVE seen you in person. :) I don't think my hair will ever be long enough again to be donate-able, but I'd happily shave my head as a show of support. Seriously.

I'd never heard of sugaring before, but now I'm raring to give it a try. Any recipes or tips?

swedemom said...

Rot gut sounds pretty terrible. I'm sorry about your hair, but the pictures you posted are pretty beautiful. What is it about losing hair that can bring us to our knees in tears? I remember when I first had symptoms of lupus. My hair fell out in great big clumps. I would cry everyday. I didn't mind the weird bumps that covered my joints or the fact that I was so pale, but losing my hair put me over the top.

Angela said...

your post has me thinking about a lot of things, but i will try to summarize - those dried mangoes are the BEST (i could eat the whole bag in a day), tried sugaring once with orange oil, yum (but right now i have olive oil, salt, and lavender in the shower), so sorry to hear about your stomach troubles, and so SO sorry to hear about the alopecia. you are beautiful and i think you would look great in any color wig - from chartreuse to hot pink. i would donate my hair for you too if you wanted. let me know. :)

Geo said...

If I died tomorrow, I could only leave this planet feeling loved! You women are the best. BEST.

Oh my heart, to think of having a whole WARDROBE of hair from such gorgeous (and beloved) heads! Don't you think that sounds amazing? Or maybe just one mind-blowing composite wig with a plug from everyone? (Or both?) Move over, Joseph with your coat of many colors! I am completely in love with both the wardrobe idea and the calico cat approach.

(Gosh, think about it! Hmmm, today's Monday. To get the week off to a good start I think I'll wear Jacob's perfect curls. Wednesday? I need to brighten up the week a little. I'll wrap myself in some Anna tresses, lovely as gold. Friday? I'll be sleek and sophisticated for date night with Kalli's dark mysterious THICK AS ALL GET OUT hair. Angela's? Oh, just right for fancying up on Sunday!)

But Saturday is my time-out. That's the day I bare my bad baldy self to the world. It's you and me, sweet Amy. We're headed to the farmer's market and we'll leave the folks staring.


On other subjects—

Yes to remembering that our inward parts are the ones that house the real beauty.

Yes to celebrating.

Yes to sharing my info on sugaring, and yes you should try it—on your legs, eyebrows, toast, etc. I'll blog the recipe link.

Yes to accepting compliments graciously.

Yes to the beauty of empathy, which you all have in abundance, among your many other types of beauty.

Yes to the conceit of wearing hair—your own and/or others'.

Yes to mangoes.

Yes to sweet-smelling oils and homemade beauty treatments.

Yes to chartreuse.

Yes to good friends.