So, you didn't come through with the hat, and now after doubling in price, it's sold out. Maybe you didn't get my message in time. Or maybe since everybody's asking for things right now, it being Christmas and all, you're swamped trying to fill requests. It's okay. Really. I understand.
But you can make it up to me. I found something else, and honestly, now that I've seen it, I'm not at all sure I can live without this. It would give new meaning to my walks on Bright Street. Please give it some thought. I think a gift like this might change the course of my entire life. And you know I'm a little off-track right now. Please get back to me with your answer, ASAP.
P.S. No big rush—I don't need it for Christmas. But really, wouldn't this be just the thing to wear on New Year's Eve?