09 December 2007

Google oracle, revisited

A little over a year ago, at the urging of my pal Jamie, I consulted the Google search engine oracle to find out exactly what it is that I need in life. The answers were revelatory, profound!

Now I'm looking for more mystical input from the Great Mind of the Internet. This time I've just gotta know what it is I really want. Y'know? Do you ever get stuck trying to answer that question? Well, if you're in a quandary like me, I suggest you mouse it on over to Google and plug your burning question into the search box, like so:

"(Your name here) wants"

Up will come an astonishing list of all the true desires you haven't yet acknowledged, plus a few that are too cryptic to understand, and of course a handful that hopefully your computer's filter will catch and dispose of. Be brave! Take heart! Know yourself and you will win all battles. ~Sun Tzu

According to the Google oracle, I have approximately 21,200 wants. That's about a third fewer than my needs. Yeah, I'm a simple sorta gal. Would you like to read a few of the wants on my list?

Georgia wants to limit endangered species.
Georgia wants to help lead the way.
Drought-weary Georgia wants help from the feds.
Georgia wants to vote too!
Georgia wants even more recruits.
Georgia wants the hunky Italian-American to be faithful to her.
Georgia wants to negotiate a bigger long-term share.
Georgia wants a judge to reconsider how many people he can invite over so he can host a Thanksgiving feast.
Georgia wants to revise the provisions.
Georgia wants piece of the next big thing: nanotechnology.
Georgia wants to win the East.
Georgia wants more white students to enroll at HBCUs.
Georgia wants to grow.
Georgia wants to be a provider of security.
Georgia wants a close trading relationship.
Georgia wants to know: "My gas fire makes our lounge really dry and humid—is there any way that not all the gas is being burnt by the fire?"
Georgia wants to be seen, she realizes that she wants to be seen as a player and that intellectually she is one.
Georgia wants him dead.
Georgia wants to wait until she opens her other birthday presents.
Georgia wants to go to Paris.
Georgia wants to be co-champions.
Georgia wants to know the formula of gas pricing.
Georgia wants to know.
Georgia wants you to know that there's a bigger risk that you'll be injured in a car than being attacked by a shark.
Georgia wants to make study abroad affordable for all students.
Georgia wants to calm tensions.
Georgia wants to require criminal background checks.
Georgia wants to join NATO so it will fight Georgian battles.
Georgia wants you to go back after making good here.
Georgia wants respect.
Georgia wants to drop the word 'evolution.'
Georgia wants shorter working hours.
Georgia wants more connection with Florence.
Georgia wants out of her seat belt.
Georgia wants to ask: "What inspired you to become an author?"
Georgia wants students to communicate and to trust their own thinking about things.
Georgia wants to help Peter to feel happier with his life, but she is steering him in the wrong direction.
Georgia wants more gas stations to sell ethanol.
Georgia wants to extend an opportunity to you to win a hand-crafted, beautifully designed NFB quilt.
Georgia wants to make it even clearer.
Georgia wants to make it easier for you—easier for you to understand and easier for you to afford.
Georgia wants to re-assert control.
Georgia wants to join the Alliance.
Georgia wants independence.
Georgia wants revenge for last year.
Georgia wants to avoid an unpleasant discussion.
Georgia wants all Harry Potter books removed.
Georgia wants your water.
Georgia wants the spigot turned off.
Georgia wants to know: "I am not a very romantic woman but my husband is the king of romance. What is the best solution to finding a compromise?"
Georgia wants a glass horse.
Georgia wants your visit to go smoothly.
Georgia wants to focus on health disparities associated with chronic diseases.
Georgia wants to ensure that the community grows up responsibly.
Georgia wants to add a squalid little amendment.
Georgia wants to know what you do locked away in that bathroom.

I decided to consult the YouTube oracle also, just to get a second opinion, you know, and I believe that my various wants were summed up quite succinctly this way: Georgia wants her rock and roll!


14 comments:

compulsive writer said...

Wow, you never told me about that hunky Italian-American.

This got a lot more interesting for me when I started consulting the Google oracle with my pen name (CW) and not my real name. But this time I had to laugh at this one:

"...if Dalene wants you to do something, you better darn well do it,"

Lois, Our Lady of Blogs said...

I only have 3,410 wants (I'm simple in more ways than one), but here are my top five:

Lois wants to marry Superman.

Lois wants a real man.

Lois wants my kidneys.

Lois wants to know what happened in Vegas.

I'll do anything that Lois wants.

Brooke said...

oooh, i love so many of those. especially the one about florence. i would take that as a sign to buy a plane ticket...

Nigel said...

Georgia wants to know: "My gas fire makes our lounge really dry and humid—is there any way that not all the gas is being burnt by the fire?"

If you really can make things dry and humid at the same time the patent will provide the $$$ for everything else...

Nigel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Scribbit said...

Who knew that you needed so many things?

Lucky Red Hen said...

Ah, a hunky Italian-American, hahaha.

Katrina said...

I think this game is so hilarious. I did the "Katrina needs" one awhile ago too. As you can probably imagine, most of them had to do with the hurricane that share my name. Blast those hurricane namers!

Olivia said...

I love all of your beautiful things, and am AMAZED by your wants. Good stuff.

Geo said...

C-DUB. The Google oracle is not infallible, so watch out—that should have been GERMAN-American.

(And I AM romantic.)

I love what you turned up with your real name, and I'm very glad to be forewarned. I promise I will come to your b-day crepe party! Please don't hurt me!

LOIS. Those sound like the sorts of nagging thoughts that might keep Nigel from sleeping at night. I mean, if his brain chemistry is anything like mine. But since he's already fit the bill for items #1 and #2, he shouldn't worry about #3 and #4. But #5? That's about marriage maintenance, so keep it up, Nigel.

BROOKE. Believe me, Florence and Paris are calling to me loudly now that my hidden desires have been revealed.

NIGEL. It's outta my league. You figure it out.

SCRIBBIT. I know. I'm starting to wonder if it was obvious to everyone but me.

LUCKY. If my hunky man is Italian, then I'm part duck. He likes pasta, at least. The G.O. got the right continent at least.

KATRINA. Yep. Shame on them for hijacking your name. It's maybe even more exciting than being named for a state and a country. I never knew I had so many political aspirations.

OLIVIA. I asked the Google oracle about you, just to get you started on your own journey of self-discovery:

• Olivia wants you to come over and play!
• Olivia wants to be a dancer or singer and dreams of becoming famous.
• All Olivia wants for Christmas is you.
• Olivia wants her way or no way.
• Olivia wants her family to be in a band with her for the fireworks, but no one wants to join her.
• Olivia wants to develop a support group.
• Olivia wants up on the bed.
• Olivia wants to be with her friends again, suggesting a get-together, a luxurious one on a sailboat navigating the Caribbean.
• Olivia wants more grease money.
• Olivia wants to discontinue the saline lock.
• Olivia wants to eat.
• Olivia wants to watch cartoons.
• Olivia wants to see the aviary transformed into a church.
• Olivia wants to share information with a third party.

Elizabeth-W said...

Apparently I want to take over the world. (?!!)
And I've been meaning to tell you forever that I love the name Georgia.

Geo said...

EW. I would never have suspected if you hadn't confessed it. I still respect you. If squalid little amendments will help you reach your goal or global domination, remember, I'm your gal.

Oh, and thank you for liking my name. It's much more popular in Great Britain and Australia than it is here in the US. That's okay by me. It means "tiller of the earth," so maybe it just sounds like too much work for most people.

Elizabeth-W said...

"Georgia" was in our top three girl names. It is a family name, but we went with another family name, Georgia's aunt's name.

Geo said...

EW. Mine was passed down to me too, but by a grandma who went by Lenore instead. (She missed a great opportunity.)