27 August 2006

The Google oracle

My friend Jamie blogged about a game she played with Google and it sounded so fun I decided to try it myself. It goes like this: Type "(your name) needs" into the Google search engine box and click on "Google search". Scan through the results that come up to determine your own needs (because if Google says so, it's true, right?).

I found out that I am a very needy person. According to Google, I have exactly 33,600 needs. Is my husband surprised? Here is an incomplete list of my 33K~

Georgia needs some action.
Georgia needs to have balance for sustainable development.
Georgia needs a man for all season.
Georgia needs to take her time.
Georgia needs the duchess, not the besotted beggar.
Georgia needs protection from terrorists.
Georgia needs right now, more than anything, a full-scale purge.
Georgia needs Russia five times more at least than Russia needs Georgia.
Georgia needs irrigation.
Georgia needs setting in order.
Georgia needs to attain an infant.
Georgia needs workers who make the carpets, build the houses, plant and harvest.
Georgia needs a time-out.
Georgia needs to create.
Georgia needs forested tracts to remain as public green space and natural areas.
Georgia needs a reduction.
Georgia needs to maintain internal stability and to secure support.
Georgia needs to change her life from Ergghhhlack to Fabbity-fab-fab!
Georgia needs the assistance of an experienced criminal.
Georgia needs a take-charge person to assume all accounting functions.
Georgia needs to change the law to protect people like her.
Georgia needs to be commended for working.
Georgia needs to import electricity.
Georgia needs an alternative.
Georgia needs a labyrinth..
Georgia needs beekeepers.
Georgia needs to stop being delusional.
Georgia needs to get natural gas one way or another.
Georgia needs a friend, not a resentful neighbor.
Georgia needs greater energy.
Georgia needs to be a progressive example.
Georgia needs a coordinated effort to protect her endangered flora.
Georgia needs to expand her definition of adequate progress.
Georgia needs another peanut farm.
Georgia needs to explore.
Georgia needs a fix.
Georgia needs to adopt.
Georgia needs to save her brother and hopefully clear her father's name.
Georgia needs something in the middle.
Georgia needs to be examined under oath.
Georgia needs to meet certain people.
Georgia needs to lighten up.
Georgia needs to know that we're watching and will do whatever it takes to stop these blatant assaults.
Georgia needs freedom to fish.
Georgia needs advice on boys.
Georgia needs your help, master gardeners, habitat stewards, butterfly enthusiasts.
Georgia needs peace.
Georgia needs to shine.
Georgia needs to set some standards.
Georgia needs to be a priority for all of us.
Georgia needs more color, more hope, more joy and quilts.
Georgia needs structural steel.
Georgia needs another four-year college.
Georgia needs a win over frisky cats.
Georgia needs a nephrologist.
Georgia needs to determine her core strengths.
Georgia needs clothing and furniture.
Georgia needs to be told again.
Georgia needs Republicans.
Georgia needs another minute.
Georgia needs 90%.
Georgia needs the compassion of women.
Georgia needs the outer loop.
Georgia needs large print Bibles.
Georgia needs a new flag.
Georgia needs to keep a careful watch on Ophelia.
Georgia needs stable and friendly relations.
Georgia needs reserve forces to deter external aggression.
Georgia needs to enter the digital age.
Georgia needs to continue this momentum burst.
Georgia needs to be overhauled.
Georgia needs lake-water.
Georgia needs a new approach to testing.
Georgia's needs are different.

So, friends and fellow needers, what does the omniscient Google have to say about your needs?


LuckyRedHen said...

I like that you need another peanut farm (how many do you have?) and something in the middle. I have plenty in the middle I could share with those in need ;o)

Just a few of my needs...

LRH needs help please donate

LRH needs you to understand that she's not trying to sleep with your boyfriend

LRH needs to figure out how to get back to Oklahoma without being killed, married to a horse or losing her mind

compulsive writer said...

So I do this with my given name and my needs are few (only two) and boring. So I decided to try the name by which I am sometimes referred to in blogworld. It got a little more interesting:

CW needs to find herself a real man
CW needs a stable and real man
CW needs to show affiliates it is more than two boxes of aging youth-skewed programming poured into a bigger box.
CW needs a good teen drama (get enough of this at home from my 11-year-old thank you).
CW needs a little fix.
CW needs to just give it a chance.
CW needs more pilots to join the fighting !!
CW needs to get its headline acts anounced soon. The last thing CW needs is yet another past-its-prime show.
CW needs to be completed and supported and readily usable.
CW needs more residential high-rise.
CW needs someone to speak on her behalf.
CW needs to turn a profit as fast as possible (now we're talking).
CW needs analysis (I couldn't agree with you more).
CW needs an edgy family dramedy (like I don't get that already?).
CW needs to be kept alive (I'm praying for it every day. Care to join me?).
CW needs more games and some posts.
CW needs a lot of it.
CW needs Everwood.
CW needs money (yes, please. Do send money now).
CW needs to know.
CW needs to be seperate from the great hall (yeah, whatever).
CW needs as much support as you guys can give.
W needs to be preserved as an art form.
CW needs to find an identity--and fast!
CW needs updating.
CW needs removed (no, please don't).
CW needs to accept this.
CW needs to be on.
CW needs improvement.
CW needs to be. (Amen.)

AzĂșcar said...

Gentle AZ needs a friend
AZ needs a focus
Az needs to come take band photos for us
AZ needs to have better competition
AZ needs 6-8 units of fresh platelets a day
Az needs a change

Subject change: I noticed that you're reading The Girls Who Went Away-- I have been DYING to read that book.

I heard the Diane Rehm show with the author and I was totally and completely fascinated.

I think my fascination started a little while ago when I heard Joni Mitchell talk about how she gave up her baby for adoption and how all her music has flowed from that place ever since. Once she met her adult daughter, Joni hasn't felt the need to write any more music. That whole sentiment just involved me. Then six months later, this book comes a long and I cannot wait to read it. Glad someone else has read and enjoyed it.

J'oga said...

well, here's what I got on the first page:

Emily needs to be told "No, there are certain things that just are NOT allowed"
Emily needs to snap out of it!
All Emily needs to do is work on reading a little extra every night
Emily needs to write the way most people need to breath
Emily needs a new computer
Emily Needs A Gangsta

I agree with all of them except the second to last one. I love my little iBook like it was sent from heaven :)
The first one's a little harsh . . .but I guess we all need some sharp words at times.

Johanna said...

hee haw! I'm laughing out loud at your list--protect your endangered flora? a full scale purge? Fabbity-fab-fab?

Jamie said...

Isn't that the most fun? You have a special advantage, sharing your name with a country AND a state...that makes it way more humorous! I just share my name with cheerleaders and British boys.
PS: My former mission pres. is a Nobel Prize-winning nephrologist, in case you still need one!

Amy said...

Hilarious. And alarmingly close to the mark sometimes. Having a really common name yielded some fun results:

Amy needs to either wake up or start getting some extra will-power
Amy needs to be slipped some colourless tasteless liquor
Amy needs to moon more people
Amy needs a blueprint for her financial future
Amy needs 2 hours to finish the dishes
Amy needs to take her meds
Amy needs to get another facial expression for deep ponderance
Amy needs to mend her ways and be more of a team player
Amy needs a flu shot
Amy needs a new diaper
Amy needs more cheesecake
Amy needs to examine her motives
Amy needs to realize that her family and friends require as much devotion as the horses
Amy needs a birth partner
Amy Needs Some Lovin
Amy needs to get out of her little feminist college I-am-woman-watch-me-chew-the-scenery phase
Amy needs Shadow to help rescue Cream, as well as her Chao, Cheese
Amy needs to overhaul her core practices around food
Amy needs no introduction
Amy needs to take responsibility for crime increases in Minneapolis
Amy needs someone with vocals as powerful as hers
Amy needs good glare-free lighting conditions
Amy needs to lose control more than she needs to gain it
Amy needs to find her mother who has been transformed into a baby
Amy needs to be on the cheerleading team

Well, apparently my attempts to fool everyone regarding my influence on crime in Minneapolis have failed...I guess I'll just go moon some more people.

Melody said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Melody said...

Apparently Melody no longer needs a palm-reader or Taro cards. Thank you Google. And Georgia. That was great fun.

Melody needs lucky numbers
Melody needs to be saved in GarageBand before the class arrives.
Jazz Needs a Melody!
Melody needs some work and a little variation
Melody needs to wear an eye patch
Melody needs harmonic abstraction for emotional tone and texture
Melody needs to be reworked or the client may change their mind at the last minute.
Melody needs to be more melodic and latin in flavour and feel
Melody needs not necessarily be concerned with rhythm
Melody needs your help to continue her full healthy life! To adopt Melody financially, Click Here.
Melody needs to realize that Ratch gets her job done and does her work.
Melody needs pixelshader 2.0
Melody is trouble for anyone trying to make it as a songwriter in the industry today. She is the one you need to top, the competition, the standard we should all be striving for.
Melody needs to set it off
Melody needs to brush her teeth
Melody needs to be reassesed to make it more interesting
Melody needs help
Melody needs some real work
Melody needs set builders to assist in making this film
Melody needs prayer
Melody needs to be given dynamic priority
"Melody" needs words and Archbishop Peter and Elizabeth Theokritoff reflect on the problems of translation
Melody needs no release (I’m not sure I agree with this one)

-The following don’t technically meet the criteria, but I thought I’d throw them in-
Melody. She really needs a trustworthy advocate

... And it might help him understand Melody's needs

Melody, or the tune, is the second most basic element in music, most approximating speech, it tells the story.

This melody still needs to be determined

The World Needs a Melody

compulsive writer said...

This just in--straight from myspace--"Dalene rocks my bulldog socks off."

Glad I could help.

Lorien said...

I'm surprised. Didn't think I'd find much, but there were a few gooduns.

Lorien needs her blankie to fall asleep and we take it almost everywhere!

Lorien needs to be rebuilt, because I did a stupid thing.

If you must needs compare Lorien to anyone within the religious pantheon, he is best compared in many ways to God. (apparently I'd been compared to Lucifer)

Lorien, 92. Needs time for sure.

Lorien needs her Lord.

Lorien needs my protection.These are perilous times, and I have been away much too long." (from Tolkien, methinks)

Lorien. Needs time. loads and loads of time.

Geo said...

I am going to be sick from laughing at your needs! (Nice of me, eh? I mean, they're your needs and all.) But don't stop! This is such fun.

Elizabeth said...

I liked the one where it said that you needed to change the law to protect people from people like you. I tried this game and it didn't really work, but what did come up that I found funny was that, "Elizabeth needs the fashion police." :)

Geo said...

Gee, Liz, if you need the fashion police, then I must be on America's Most Wanted list!

b. said...

b. needs a makeover, she's stuck in the 80's
b. needs to be far away in a safe place (hhmmm..)
b. needs a partner(for the barn dance saturday
b. needs to tell Sonny something
b. needs the help of her public, especially her
hispanic people
b. needs encouragement and grace that you alone can
b. needs to stabilize those emotions with a little
zoloft (alright, which one of my friends posted
that to the universe!!!???)
b. needs a lot of space
b. needs to be brought back to Tucson for further
b. needs a surprise gift
b. needs to be the only dog in the household
b. needs help raising funds
My Husband needs:
*to wait a couple more weeks before being neutered!
*firm yet gentle training

Geo said...

b.: If your husband actually gets that first need met, you're not the only one who's going to be popping Zoloft!