13 November 2007

Back on the change gang

This is an interesting version of one of my favorite songs. If a song could be a soulmate, this one would be mine.

one day
when you're ready
one day, one day
when you're up to it

Today, unexpectedly, I woke up prepared to start again, in earnest, taking care of myself. I've repeatedly wished for this kind of practical readiness, but wanting to and being ready to are two different things.

Our house is beginning to release the collective burdens of several generations as Rob and I work to put it to rights. It's a big intimidating process we've begun, but our space feels better and clearer in every respect the more progress we make, and so we are rewarded. We're dripping in symbolism over here on 4th South. And now I'm hungry for another committed step, one I'll take on my own (though with support from Rob, I expect): getting back onto my Candida diet. My body has been telling me for a long time that it's struggling, and recently it's started bawling at me for help, all the time growing more frantic. Okay then, I calmly replied this morning, much to my own surprise and with no lead-in or warning at all. I'm listening. I'm ready. Let's begin.

Suddenly, this needful change is not dreadful at all, but very very welcome. It happens that way, I guess, when the issue of force is removed from the picture but hope remains.

And now I'm wondering if I'm on some kind of roll. I wonder what steps may be next. This could get good.


Becca said...

I'm applauding all of your good work.

b. said...

Ok, I love the instrumentals. I love the words.
I love the writer of this post.
I'm wishing for you all the love and courage to do exactly what it is you need to do.......for you.

compulsive writer said...

Best best wishes!

i i e ee said...

"but wanting to and being ready to are two different things"

sometimes it's not up to you.

keep up.

Rynell said...


By the way, I read a very good book about Candida that has mostly recipes. I can't figure out how to link here...dang.

Feel free to email me if you want the info...
rynell.lewis(insert "at" symbol right here)gmail(insert dot right here)com

Am'n2deep said...

Good for you!! In my quest for healing and health, I've had a few adventures with eating whole foods, and even went a time where I only ate raw foods. Physically, I never felt so alive.

Geo, your enthusiasm and hope for what the future holds is inspiring! Blessings to you!!

Geo said...

BECCA. That means so much. I love Beccapplause.

B. That's a lotta love! Right back at you, honey b.

C-DUB. Big big hugs!

I I E EE. If you wake up and the day feels broken just lean into the crack and it will tremble ever so nicely / Notice how it sparkles down there

I'm glad (and not surprised) that you're fluent with Bjorkspeak. Kindred spirit.

RYNELL. I'm always in search of great recipes, Candida-friendly and otherwise.

Are you de-Candida-ing also?

AM'N. I'm not sure I could ever commit to the totally raw diet, but I try to work some of that into my schtick. Several years ago when I did this Candida therapy—the diet I linked to in my original post—such good changes happened inside me. Weight easily rolled off me (which wasn't the point, but I was very glad about it), my mind was much more clear, I had good energy, and I felt well in ways I hadn't since I could remember. But for some strange reason, after a year or so of positive results, I lapsed. And it's been a while that I've been struggling to regain my former enthusiasm. But now I'm ready to turn some positive attention inward again. Even just the readiness gives me an interesting sense of relief. Two days ago taking charge of my body again felt like a huge obstacle that would demand a dreadfully restrictive lifestyle change, and then yesterday, the tables had turned and it suddenly felt like the most inviting, natural, and simple step. Like somebody I trust said to me, Hey, Geo, why don't we have a walk on the beach?

Lois, Our Lady of Blogs said...

So I guess I won't be seeing you at the candy store this Christmas.

Hey, asparagus is on sale at Macey's this week!

Good luck with the food, I know it'll do wonders for you.

Note -- one of these days I'll get real Internet (not dial-up), so I'll be able to see these fun videos and songs you have on your blog! I feel so left out!!!

ZLB said...

good work! maybe I should start praying to wake up ready one of these days rather than just thinking about it. .. good luck!

swedemom said...

"Suddenly, this needful change is not dreadful at all, but very very welcome. It happens that way, I guess, when the issue of force is removed from the picture but hope remains."

Geo, that was an amazing sentence and one which I really needed to read.
Thank you!

sue-donym said...

I'm on a roll too! (unfortunately it is of the baked bread variety)

Emily said...

"It happens that way, I guess, when the issue of force is removed from the picture but hope remains."

Love, love that line, Geo.
Have felt what you're describing a few times about a few personal challenges. The extra boost is most welcome.

~j. said...

How wonderful to learn that you are in this new, exciting place. I am feeling thrilled for you.

Olivia said...

You are one amazingly disciplined woman! I love the way it feels to both listen to and take charge of myself at the same time... it'll sound strange, but it's just awesome when you and your soul and your body all work with each other... ya know?

andi said...

OH, we SO need to have a chat about releasing a house of it's burdens of several generations. Maybe I should put my house on a candida diet.

I always say that stuff is like aspestos ... most toxic when being removed. God speed, woman. (I will call you when I am back in Utah.)

andi said...

BTW - as far as soulmates go ... Rob is way cuter than Bjork. You tell he I said so.

Geo said...

LOIS. I promise if (when?) I lapse in my no-sugar resolve to lapse at the counter at Flea's Candy while you're in uniform handing out free samples.

I really hope you get to leave the world of dial-up soon. That was a happy day for me!

ZLB. I bet somewhere in you there's already a prayer like that echoing in the chambers . . . .

SWEDEMOM. You're welcome! Good luck to us both.

SUE-DOUGH. Ba-dump-bump!

EMILY. That's what the bloggerhood's for, I think—to be a booster club. I get so much good, reinforcing stuff from you and others.

~J. Thanks!

OLIVIA. That doesn't sound strange to me . . . er, to us, at all. "We" get it, and agree.

ANDI. The farther I go in this whole home purge project, the more I believe I can hear my house breathing deeply and freely. It's an awful process, the trash-n-detox, but so redeeming. I think after this adventure's done, my house is going to want to go on a juice fast. Whatever that means.

You're so right about Rob. And I think he'd look gorge in a swan dress.