Do you have some words in mind? Are they of a family? Can you consolidate them further? I came up with my own last night, one toxic theme to rule them all. When I feel my weariest and smallest, the lingering word on my lips seems to always be WASTE. It's the horror of my life. If I was standing at those proverbial pearly gates and was been given the opportunity to admit myself via the honor system, this would be the one curse of a word I might stupidly say to banish myself from heaven, if I allowed myself to listen to the rotten peanut gallery, who would surely be hiding behind some nearby (non-burning) bush, prompting me, as if I couldn't think or speak for myself—and hoping I'd forget that I could.
Here's what you do. Take that black magic word of yours to the best thesaurus you can find. Explore all your word's possible shades of meaning. Live with them, feel them, let yourself comprehend which ones "fit" your fears. Acknowledge how this word affects you, how it directs your beliefs. Keep in mind that there are underlying needs at stake here that want attending to. Your demons have amplified their accusations of you so you'll look where they want you to look: at the stagnant bleakness of self-condemnation rather than the bright opportunity for healing and growth.
Taking notes helps.
Now look for the antonyms for your word. There should be a few listed along with the synonyms. Dig deeper; one by one, take the synonyms that resonated with your darkness, look them up, and hunt until you discover their beautiful hopeful opposites. These are to be your medicines. Don't leave any out. This new list of words will uplift you as you concentrate on them. Feel them. Imagine them. See yourself living fluently with them. Make healthy plans. Take more notes. Pray for help in establishing this new vocabulary in your mind and heart.
Stop paying attention to the jerks in the bushes, the life-mucking voices in your head. Invest in some earplugs. Choose not to engage and let the war go on without you. Read your thesaurus. Listen for better words. Listen to a better spirit.
WASTEconserve, flourish, thrive, manage, make good use of, save, keep, preserve, protect, save, safeguard, look after, sustain, prolong, perpetuate, store, reserve, husband, flourish, grow, thrive, prosper, do well, burgeon, increase, multiply, proliferate, spring up, shoot up, bloom, blossom, bear fruit, burst forth, run riot, be in good health, be vigorous, be in its heyday; progress, make progress, advance, make headway, develop, improve, evolve, make strides, move forward (in leaps and bounds), expand, be in the pink, go places, go great guns, get somewhere, mushroom, succeed, boom, wanted, moderation, restraint, necessary, essential, restore, worthwhile, usable, profitable, cultivated, fertile, vibrant, habitable, in good repair, livable, settled, tame, calm, tidy, civilized, disciplined, considered, sensible, practical, hospitable, temperate, look after, nurture, provident, valuable, fullness.