13 May 2010

I'm Going Off the Rails

A minute before ten and I'm going to bed. Early. That's not early for you? It is for me.

I would have gladly punched the clock at nine tonight, if I hadn't had a screenwriters' meetup in Sugarhouse, and then a series of stand-still traffic clots on the freeway. Nighttime road construction—it's all the rage. (Can you find the hidden joke in that statement?)

My fatigue has really caught up to me. I've been dumbheaded and drowsy for days, but kept on driving anyway. Tonight exhaustion is pulling me over like the policeman in my dream early this morning. When I saw those blue and red lights and got that awful sinking feeling inside as I recognized they were flashing at me, I searched my brain to discover what I'd done wrong. There was only the vaguest impression of it: had I run a red light? Yes, and the officer confirmed. Oh, but sir, I didn't realize! Oh! Ohhh! But moaning about it didn't divert the consequences. This officer wasn't rude, but he was bland and straight and I knew there would be no suspension of consequences. I broke the law. I wasn't paying attention to the rules.  It's a fair parallel for my life in some ways right now. And I know I've got to start reading the signs and responding more quickly to the lights around me. 

Many years ago I got a ticket for reckless driving. I couldn't keep my eyes open at the wheel and I guess I was driving unsafely. It was a good thing that squad car pulled me over. I think it's a good thing now. Thanks, Officer. 

A quick list of happies, and then I'm out of here:
  • an enjoyable last meal with the lovely Thomases before they left for home
  • (French toast, mangoes, Arizona grapefruit)
  • sharing faith with others not of our faith
  • learning that Bryce next door bought Peter's other traveling ukulele
  • having new friends
  • another sweet gift: a book about making books by the Thomases
  • living with my best friend
  • gaining some ground with the uke
  • building new callouses with nylon instead of steel strings (don't care if you call me a wimp)
  • beautiful stories still arriving from friends (love, love, love!)
  • receiving a list of questions from our darling "daughter" in SF (we're her surrogate gringo parents), so we can help her with her homework
  • a good meetup with my screenwritin' friends
  • drawing the dreaded "Monster in the House" genre card for a take-home writing assignment
  • excellent words
  • great jazz and classical radio when nothing singable was on 
  • (except for Ozzy Osbourne's "Crazy Train" on the way to SLC)
  • (which, by the way, would make a pretty awesome ukulele song—think about it)
  • imagination
  • making it home alive from Sugarhouse
  • somebody warm and interested waiting at home
  • late night toast
Looks like I'm not the first one to think about that Ozzy Osbourne tune being uke-worthy. PLEASE, can I have this kid?


Melody said...

Good night and good luck.

Jessie said...

Call me a wimp too, if you must, but nylon strings are the way to go. :)

We missed you at bunco last night, it was a fun and packed night in Lucia's kitchen.