While anxiously watching every one of my candidates get whomped

I will list some possible uses for a ping-pong ball:

spare eyeball
pin cushion
cat toy
toilet clogger
big toe spacer
cut in half and glued to wall globe-side out—two door bumpers
ear plugs for the Big Bad Wolf while dressed as Grandma
strung with others—fake pearls
minimalist navel jewel for a cavernous innie
ineffectual marble shooter
motivational tool in a henhouse
bait for an egg-stealing snake
magician’s prop
Barbie’s full moon
rollerskate for the unsuspecting
cut in half and painted red—two clown noses
cut in half—two emergency sacrament cups
1/10,000th Love Sac stuffing
drilled with a hole and corked—canteen
drilled with a hole and corked—salt shaker
exercise ball for fairies to develop core strength
bowling with matches
reflexology helper
thumb-sucking alternative
consequence for swearing
everlasting gobstopper, unflavored
time capsule
chain pull
dresser-drawer knob
toe-grab workout
pocket friend

What else? Ask your right brain.

(I'm sad about this election. 'Nuff said, I guess.)

Onward.