Brown is the new lawn sign repellant

Tomorrow's the Provo City Municipal Primary Election, so if you live anywhere near my 'hood, don't forget to visit the voting polls and punch your conscience. Not literally, of course—you should always listen to your conscience and not fight against it—but do take up that stylus and poke a hole by the name of each of your favorite candidates.

My favorites are listed to the right. That's correct; I am wearing my local politics on my sleeve. These people are good for our city and especially for the neighborhoods that make up that city. Cindy asked Rob and me to write a letter of recommendation for her, knowing that we are on her team, and this is the closest I've come. It's probably as close as I'll get this election. But here's the bottom line: Cindy is a good idea, and manages to stay freshly so, after more than a decade of seasoned service. She moves with the times, moves with our needs. I have the utmost confidence in her. That's also how I feel about Steve Clark. I already see him as mayor. I think he is the perfect choice for Provo right now. I find all of these people inspiring, trustworthy, disciplined, and very capable.

As long as I'm on this subject, however briefly, I feel I must advise those of you seeking to adorn your lawns with signs to help campaign for your picks during future election seasons. If you want to get involved, you have got to water your grass! And pull your weeds! Sweep your steps! Don't let the cats use your flower beds as kitty litter stations! Pick up your unread Wall Street Journals so they don't get rained on and turn into gooey grey blobs on your sidewalk! Take it from me, queen of the dying green, no candidate (apparently) wants to advertise on an unkempt 1/8th acre. Think about it—who's the true trendsetter on your block—the guy with the lush lawn and tidy hedge, or the one who dreams at night of automatic watering systems and is ever at the ready to harvest dandelion fluff and puncture vine? I don't care if you put one of those "I'm gorgeous inside!" signs in front of your house; nobody's going to believe you. There is no Brown Party. It's all about green, comrade. We have learned by sad experience that even if a candidate courts you via phone or email for free campaign space, one in-person glance at your dirt-colored digs will send them running.

Today it stormed, but the rain came too late to save my suffering yard from political muteness. Standing proudly in lawns all over the 'hood now are Cindy signs and scattered Steves and conscientious Coys. Nobody wants my yard. But you know what? I'm gorgeous inside. And I vote!

Go, Steve!

Go, Cindy!

Go, Coy!

Go, Provo!

(Go vote!)