28 December 2005

Earwax

I had a dream a few days before Christmas that has been working on my mind ever since then, demanding some analysis:

I had a little itch down deep in my right ear. I wiggled my index finger down into the ear canal and discovered that there was a quarter- to a half-inch of earwax levelled off inside, filling it up. In my mind's eye I could see it: two-toned with a transparent and an opaque part, resembling hot candle wax that's beginning to cool, but it was still soft. I was very surprised. I thought, 'Well, my left ear must be in the same condition,' but when I investigated with another finger, I found that my left ear canal was clear.

I have had lots of thoughts about this quick visual, and so far what I've come up with is that I am not hearing the "right" things. Just as seeing with only one eye ruins depth perception, hearing with just one ear spoils a fullness of sound, robs perspective. What comes into the mind is flat, in mono rather than in stereo. So I'm missing input from the "right" source, which I think at this point is true of me; for a long time I've really been struggling to accept myself on some essential levels. I know I should, but "should" doesn't automatically lead to "do". It's a project. Anyway, the dream is hopeful, I think, because it demonstrates that this blockage is one that is pliable and easy to remove, and that the hearing loss isn't because there is something deeper that's causing the problem--only that more attention needs to be given to keeping the channel free. And it was a small itch from beneath the problem that prompted the discovery and called for action. I need to clear the way so I can listen with my whole self, and hear all the wonderful "right" things.

2 comments:

Rachel B. said...

Love the dreams. I can never remember my dreams. Once my brother came over to visit and told me that he had a dream that our mother made him a pair of pants out of the dog. What does that mean???

Geo said...

Hey, haven't you ever heard the phrase, "putting on the dog"? Maybe your mom wants to fancy him up some.