14 September 2011

Stuff I Didn't Buy 2

Remember this post? Here goes round two. I'm thinking that Stuff I Didn't buy needs to become a regular feature here on Bright Street. There are just too many awful gems waiting in thrift stores not to share the kitschy love.

Scarlett O'Hara plate, pretty as a picture (fit to be hung). A lady with shopping cart envy saw me with this and lamented that she hadn't spotted it first, what a treasure, etc., so after I finished taking this photo, I handed Scarlett to her with my blessing, and the lady behaved as if she'd just met the real Santa Claus. I'm a Christian martyr, that's what I am, a real Christian martyr.

No. Just no.

Wormy apple latch hook rug!

Impossibly overgrown acrylic doily. I'm sure it seemed like a good idea at Round One.

Oo! Ooo! What's inside?

Surprise! A deformed and neglected nightmare dolly! Quick, write a screenplay!

Half-truth: If this notebook had been free it would have come home with me, because look at the deep thoughts inside (click on pages for higher res photos you can actually read)—

Sauce, indeed. This is my kind of find. I probably just crossed a line, broke some intellectual property law, by posting this. Sorry, Kenzie Barrow. Thanks for sending your notebook to D.I. I wish you a happy, saucy marriage... someday.

Hand-carved ray. Maybe it could be used as a salad spoon?

So typical! Would you believe, this deer jumped out in front of a lady's cart, she swerved and missed it, but then I nearly ran it over while turning a corner? Why are deer always doing that, throwing themselves into us and causing accidents? Do deer have some vendetta against us?

I have this thing for buying jump ropes. It's really hard not to when I find them, especially when they have the great turny wooden handles. But I didn't buy this one. Good for me.

I was tempted, for a split-second, to buy this and send it to my cousin, Ryan, who loves bow ties and the occasional outlandish accessory. But he's not actually a clown, so I didn't.

Check out that Unique Dice Roller. Passports, check. Travel Yahtzee, check. Let's drive to Mexico!

 Butterflies are not free.

The poor little dead things.

'Nuther gift for a loved one, to add to her collection of odd round objects. But on second thought, no.

Do you ever wonder how somebody like Van Gogh would feel, finding one of his inspired creations serving as a mouse rug?

Okay, so I picked up this cookbook in a weak moment. My resolve to continue my month-long fruit and veg detox began to melt like the cheese on this glorious cover. Oh, me. For just a minute I hated everything that wasn't sharp cheddar. I'm over it now.

If I do make Stuff I Didn't Buy a regular blog feature, I think I should showcase a popular subset: Unsuccessful Baby Blankets. I often see them while I'm out thrifting. This one was done in acrylic oranges. Granny squares are cute by default, right? This one almost promises colic.

Crocheted in an even stiffer acrylic, this blankey had a more generally acceptable colorway, but it was practically Barbie-sized. I guess somebody was at the end of her yarn stash. Or that was some skinny baby.

Somebody must have loved this one once because it's got holes. Does that prove anything? How's my logic? Could it have been loved by mice? This handiwork made me mad because it sports a shrunken wool center, and the rest is baby acrylic. That's just wrong.

This was actually a really appealing find. What a cute green vent! If only I had a place for it in my house. Maybe I should move.

This is the sort of stuff some kids will lick if they think no grownups are watching.

Turkey candle.

Bleh! Ceramic angel heads! Bags and bags of them! (But one good thing, the heads made a great sound when rubbed together. Next time instead of taking photos of my rejects, I should make audio recordings.)

I always find it hard to say no to little plastic guys doing their murderous little jobs. Why? I said no to a bagful of fresh green soldiers too this time, not just cowboys and Indians.

This isn't kitschy, it's just a cheap jewelry box. I picked it up because it's a smaller version of the one my mom had when I was a child, and it smelled exactly the way hers did. It made me very nostalgic, and I almost bought it.

I unearthed this old clock part and it made the most amazing doi-oi-oing sound when struck. It really killed me not to have a decent recorder on me when I found this.

More pretty sounds I missed capturing. Phoo.

Six of these fairy girls! In all colors! Fairy friends! Why didn't I take photos of all of them? Fairies are real! Look closely, and you'll see.

Eraserhead baby. Extra chins at no extra charge. Scary!


Now, this looks like a genuine treasure. What could it be?

A dream come true! It's an old short wave radio!

It even picks up the Vatican!

If only I had $40 to burn, I'd buy that Golden Throat certified!

Thanks for taking this thrift store tour with me. I hope you enjoyed yourself, and go on a treasure hunt of your own. Take me with you!


mirjam said...

This made my day and made me miss DI sooooo much. You have all the luck. If you left all these treasures behind, what did you go home with?

Anonymous said...

Loooovvveeedddd this :)

Anonymous said...

Oh this is awesome. I loved it too. That turkey candle! Golden-throat certified radio! SO funny!

dalene said...

So that last one was from me. I guess my identity was stolen.

AzĂșcar said...

That manta ray is freaking me out.




ashmae said...

wow wow wow! this is one of my favorite things I've read in a long time. you are one good lady.

Ashley said...

The running baby-blanket commentary cracked me up. And now I'm inspired to take my camera thrifting with me today...there is, however, a niggling worry that in a small town like mine, one could run into trouble posting about giggle-fit donations. :)

Heather said...

Love it. You must spend hours at the DI to find such treasures...or not Provo is pretty special. I especially love the green vent. Who would think, "I have an extra vent. Oh, I know, I'll give it to DI. Somebody might need a green vent." Because that's normal.

Mary said...

Love it. Makes me want to go thrifting. Thank you, Miss Geo. . . and look, my captcha is "snedged". Ought to be a word, don't you think?