24 April 2006

Elliott's wall

Lovely J'oga shared this Sisyphean dream with me today:

"I was on vacation in California. I've been wanting to go there for a while now, just to get away and particularly to see the ocean. I was with a friend in the dream, although I don't remember who it was. When we arrived in LA, we didn't know where we were. As soon as I found out that we were in LA, I immediately said 'I've got to go see Elliott's wall!'

"Elliott's wall is in fact a real place on Sunset Blvd where Elliott Smith shot the cover for 'Figure 8' - the last album that he released while he was living. I do indeed have a very strong desire to visit Elliott's wall, and I think that this dream increased that desire exponentially.

"Back to the dream: My friend and I were walking through a large corridor full of people, and I just turned to the nearest person - a girl with short blonde hair - and asked if she knew where the elliott memorial was. she said 'yeah, I'm headed there right now.' So we walked and walked and walked, and it actually ended up taking us much longer to get there than we thought. It was practically hidden. When we finally arrived, I was a bit upset that there were so many people there. I kind of wanted this to be my own experience, but then I realized that the wall sat adjacent to a park and there was a lake nearby (not at all true in reality, but it made the dream interesting).

"As I approached the wall I began to worry because it looked worn and faded, but then when I finally got to it, I realized that it had been painted over! I was absolutely crushed. The park owners had just painted over it - the day before. Outlines of the previous red and black stripes could vaguely be seen through the paint, but I was sure that the memorials that had been written by fans must have been ruined. As I stood there, I saw one man off to the side rubbing his thumb up and down on the wall, trying to rub the paint off - and he was actually succeeding! I started doing the same, and as I progressed, I realized that as I worked, I could peel whole portions of paint off. So I went to work. rubbing and peeling, trying to bring back the only piece of elliott that I may be able to touch and see in this life. The paint had an interesting consistency to it - almost like rubber cement. As you pulled on it, it stretched.

"After hours of work, I was able to get the top half of the wall uncovered, but the bottom half was untouchable for some reason. The paint had blurred the previously clear red and black lines, but I could vaguely make out a few of the things that had been written there before. I stepped back and took a look at my handiwork, and then I left - knowing that the next day the park officials would come back and paint over the wall again.

"I think that this dreams meaning was two-fold. The most pressing feeling I get when I think about it is how badly I want to go and see that wall - and I'd better do it soon! Secondly, I think that the dream points to the importance of allowing people's legacy to live on after they've left this life. I would hope that we can preserve and respect the accomplishments that our loved ones leave behind and not 'paint' over them."

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